Every day someone writes me talking about how they feel taken for granted. They talk about how their significant other treats them like a doormat. They feel tired and worn down because the person they love keeps walking in and out of their life. Of the few tactics employable to get a guy to straighten out, the no contact method seems to be the most popular and effective. So let’s talk about it. Does it really work? And do guys give a crap?
The no contact rule does work if the guy actually gave a crap to begin with. Too many girls try the no contact method unwilling to accept the results or actually distance themselves. Other women never really insist on being treated better and take a guy back who hasn’t changed at all.
There are two main ideas of the no contact method. The first of which is to detoxify yourself from the relationship and life that you’ve built around it. It’s like finding yourself again. Separating yourself from your ex entirely, in hopes of developing a new routine and higher self-esteem. Don’t contact them and don’t respond to them trying to get in touch with you. Learn how to live a single life with no dependency on a partner. During this time, it’s recommended that you stay busy and live life to the fullest to really start the healing process. It may feel like a drug withdrawal, but it’s absolutely necessary.
The other main idea is to make your ex realize what they lost. And start to miss you so badly that they become emotionally unstable and beg you to take them back. It’s like putting your ex in time out. Lol. You reject them and what they have to offer until they make the changes in behavior that you want. The fear that they have lost you entirely is expected to make an ex-straighten up. People do this by cutting off all contact temporarily, in the hopes that it makes the person change and build up to a suspenseful and emotional reunion. It’s important to articulate your issues with them before cutting contact, so they can genuinely consider if they really want to make those improvements. Many of you have read my blog about what to do when a guy gets ghost. Read it here → https://girltalkwithguys.com/why-guys-disappear-from-your-life-ghosting/ You know how at the end I said: “Fuck em.” We’ll the no contact method is like “Fuck em” light.
With that said, yes in many cases it works. Hell, I’ve done it by accident, and it worked. At the time I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. I wasn’t trying to manipulate their feelings. I just don’t do the whole on again off again thing. If you want to try it just remember, if you never addressed the reason for the breakup then the reunion will be short-lived. If you haven’t, go read the should I take an ex back blog. In that blog, I detail things you must consider before getting back with an old flame.
If you are going to try the no contact method, do so with a real intent to move on, but an openness to reconcile. If your only plan is to get them back, it probably won’t work for you. This is because you won’t be able to fake being disengaged long enough to really scare them. If you choose to do so, pick a goal and a timeline and stick to it. Don’t contact them and don’t respond if they reach out to you until that period has passed or the behavior has been corrected. If they never change or offer to change move on, seriously.
Girls often try this on men who never cared for them. Accept the results, if he turns out to be happier without you in his life at all. You win some; you lose some. Don’t play yourself by calling him and cursing him out. Don’t try to bump into him in public and make him jealous. Just move on because; fuck em.
This method is the best way to get past a break up as well. Get closure if you must and make a clean break.